365gay.com is running a piece on sissyphobia among gay men titled, "Why can't you just butch it up?" The article wavers at times, and includes a few cringe-worthy moments (e.g. giving evolutionary psychology the time of day -- and in general automatically searching for biological causes of gendered behavior). But it's nice to see the topic up for discussion. Here's my choice quote:
And what about all those studies that show that many gay and bisexual men display some degree of gender non-conformity? That we're more likely to be androgynous than the typical straight man?
In other words, many of us exhibit "gender atypical" behaviors - or we would exhibit them if we hadn't learned at an early age not to. But at the same time, we believe these behaviors to be deeply unattractive.
Holy self-loathing, Batman!
In short, as a community, we're literally at war with each other and, often, ourselves. And if this isn't about homophobia, it's hard to imagine what is.
"I think it's really strange what we do," says Kennedy. "Outside the community, if a straight person attacks someone for being effeminate, we attack them, we're furious. But within our community, we're terrible to each other on the very same issue."
I saw that last night, too, but didn't have time to read more than just the first page of the article...but I did think of you as soon as I saw the headline.
I am going to have to read the whole thing, but I agree that it's at least SOMETHING to see the topic being addressed at all. The article does, in its first paragraph, reference the drama revolving around Skate Canada's recent initiative to "butch up" men's figure skating----and as a sissy skater and skating fan, I've been involved in a LIVELY online debate on another blog about that issue----and I've been horrified (although not altogether surprised) by the verbal abuse directed at femme guys by "str8-acting" guys....so it's clearly a topic worth discussing!
I love sissy men, but most of them will deny they are a sissy. I don't know if this is due to them having a poor self-awareness or a self-hatred that was taught to them by a sexist society.
Prior to the 1970s, most people equated sissy men with being gay, which was used as an excuse by society to discriminate against all gay men the same way women were discriminated against. To break this stereotype, gay liberation groups of the 1970s promoted only butch men in their educational propaganda. As a result, sissy men were thrown under the bus for political reasons. Likewise, gay feminists and women liberation groups threw butch women under the bus because society equated them lesbians.
Atypical gender expression has always upset people more than a macho man who is gay. This is why gender identity anti-discrimination laws have trailed laws dealing with sexual orientation.
Years ago I read the book by Tim Bergling, "Sissyphobia: gay men and effeminate behavior," Haworth Press, 2001 who is quoted in the 365gay.com article. This book is a manifesto for gay men who were ever called a sissy.