So for some time now I've followed this guy's blog who posts stories from his allegedly true encounters with tricks who he fucks bareback. I have to admit, some of the stories read pretty hot. What can I say, they are what they are. But his latest post makes me so sick to my stomach - I've been fuming about it all night. I can't sleep without spewing some of my anger.

The post is titled "Rape?" - and there's really no need for his question mark. It's basically a recounting of his trip to Florida where he attended the opening of a new gay bar. He found a twinky guy that he thought was cute, but who was utterly uninterested in him. That is, until the twink got really drunk and stopped pushing him away. But even then it seems like he was still pretty uninterested. But the blogger persists - in fact, no, he does more than persist. He drugs the twink's drink with GHB (the infamous date rape drug, and also a popular party drug in circuit culture), takes him to the bathroom, and fucks him on the floor - even though 1) the twink was pretty much passed out; and 2) the twink was saying no. Moreover, any consumption of GHB while drinking alcohol is extremely dangerous -- deaths are not uncommon.

This blogger, whose website is titled "Confessions of a Bareback Top," has walked some pretty fine lines with consent before. But in the cases I remember, the power dynamics were pretty much agreed to varying extents beforehand, and everyone involved was conscious / sober. This case is a totally different ballgame. If what he writes about is true - and granted, with anything on the Internet, it's quite possible that it's not - he should be prosecuted.

I just feel disgusted. I can't shake it. It brings me full circle to my feeling leaving San Francisco that barebacking fantasies were becoming increasingly tied up with fantasies of domination / subjugation (which, featuring a quote from this same blogger, I wrote about here). I am totally in support of S&M communities that work out their fantasies beforehand and have clear safe words and ethical practices. But it seemed to me - and this blogger's story fits in here - that increasingly, gay men are exploring these kinds of fantasies without any of the safeguards requisite in S&M. This is a huge problem - and one that I think calls for a community-wide dialogue on the the ethics of gay sex. There is much to be learned from the S&M community here.

Ugh. I just feel totally violated by this guy's story...