I tuned in a bit late to Ugly Betty a bit late this evening, but I got in just in time to see Marc snuggling on the couch with Cliff - a newly introduced character that apparently Marc is dating! Now, a few days ago in my original Gay Bitch posting, I included a photo of Marc as sort of a reference point - a caricature of what I was talking about. I knew then that he was a tricky example -- his character, after all, slips in and out of Bitch mode. But I used his image anyways, because I still believed him to be a prime cultural example of the Bitch.

With the new development in Marc's dating life, I'd like to revisit him as a Bitch. Now, in my experience, part of being a Bitch is being seriously insecure about your body image - and projecting those insecurities on others. You know, all the "Ugh, some people should just not leave their house without a shirt on" commentary. It's of course the product of deep insecurities about their own physique, and a need to distance themselves from "other," unfit bodies. It's a huge part of being a Bitch (women could certainly make a similar argument about the Bitch as a female archetype).

Now enter Cliff. Cliff is a husky guy. Actually, by TV's narrow standards of beauty, he's downright fat. If Marc's character saw this guy enter the MODE offices, he'd make a catty comment within about 2.3 seconds. And yet, here we see them snuggling on the couch, preparing to watch Psycho together. If Marc gets scared, Cliff tells him not to worry - "I'll be right here" (that's actually the precise moment you see in the photo here). They're fucking adorable!

At first glance, this seems totally unBitchlike - like we should take a moment to pause and reconsider whether Marc's really the Bitch I've made him out to be. I want to argue, however, that dating a guy like Cliff falls right in line with Bitches I've known - and my experiences as a Bitch. I'm thinking here of a friend of mine on the East Coast who's the epitome of the Gay Bitch. He's a gym bunny; he's constantly projecting his insecurities about his body on others (including me); his constant striving to present himself as an all-important socialite is cemented with the rapid pace he uploads photos of himself onto Facebook. Now, don't get me wrong, I understand and empathize with everything that goes into these things - I don't hold it against him. That's why he's my friend.

But color me surprised when I met his boyfriend of several years. Physically, he's a guy much like Cliff. He's exactly the kind of guy that my friend would see at a club, and make some catty remark about! What the fuck? At first, it seemed terribly hypocritical and fucked up. Here's the skinny little twinkboy who runs around the clubs trying desperately to seem important and better than everyone, seriously dating a boy who he'd humiliate out in public. I wasn't sure if I should be impressed at his unBitchy choice for a partner, or I should resent his blatant hypocrisy.

But then I thought about my own sex life - and my own choices in guys. I don't really date, so I can't speak to choosing a partner. But I certainly have my fair share of hookups, so I can speak to my experiences in the bedroom. I've always had deep-seated insecurities about my own body. I've always been a little bit too curvy to be a twink - and not curvy or hairy enough to be, say, a cub (or butch for that matter!). You might think that boys like me jump for glee when muscle Gods hit them up online for a hookup. What charity! But I don't get excited. In fact, I generally either don't respond or ultimately back out of meeting up.

I'm in a constant race to compare myself to others on sites like Manhunt and Gay.com -- they kind of bring out that feature in people. So when guys who I see as "out of my league" message me, I run the other direction. This isn't entirely based on my own issues. I used to meet up with those guys, but many times I could tell that, when I took my shirt off, they weren't as into the scene as they were before. So I learned quickly that I had the best sex was with guys who I judged to be either "on my level," or below it (and let's be real - that's how this shit works in the gay marketplace of desire). I wasn't second-guessing myself the whole time - or making sure to turn off the lights *before* my shirt came off.

This all boils down to my conclusion that Marc's choice in dating doesn't necessarily contradict his status as a Bitch. In fact, it fits right in with my experiences with other Bitches, and with my own experiences as a Bitch. Bitches certainly do sometimes date and fuck statuesque guys. But some Bitches find a guy they can let down all their guards with. Who they can be a little more real with. And, for better or for worse, sometimes that comes in the form of guys like Cliff.