As a gay man, it's hard to go through single life without loggin online at some point to meet other gay men. Some log on looking for sex. Others for dates. And still even more for just friendship and conversation.

Over the past 8 years, it's also become increasingly common for chatters to put some qualification about who exactly they are looking for in their bio line. Some boys want to talk / fuck only muscle boys. Others want to talk / fuck exclusively top men. But more common than most seems to be a racial stipulation.

These vary in quality and tone. Most often the case is "GWM for other GWM ONLY" - gay white men who only are interested in other gay white men. No matter if they're looking for friendship, sex, or relationships - that qualification applies across the board. Then there is the still all-to-common "Asian ++" or "Latino ++." Sometimes this is other Asian-American or Latino men, but more often it's white men with a fetish. And then, you have the far end of the other spectrum, "GWM for hung black tops." Unfortunately, this is just about the only time you'll see black men singled out for interaction.

Let's take a look at a few of the more tricky examples and try to tease them apart. I've gotten all these from Craigslist's online M4M bulletin board service, but removed any form of identification.

I. VGL truly versatile, very oral GM seeks 8+ black/latin/italian man - 28
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VGL GWM, masculine, truly versatile guy, 28, 5'11, 170#, lean build, HIV- , 7x5 dick seeks average to muscular BLACK/LATIN/ITALIAN GUY (ONLY!) with 8+ inches under 40 for ongoing sexual relationship (if we're feelin it) or possibly more. I'm a very passionate guy and love to kiss, but it's not required. Just want to service a nice, long cock on a regular basis, in a multitude of ways. Into J/O, oral/cock worship (I give amazing head), bottoming and topping depending on the chemistry. Love to rim also.

Comments on I: There's several interesting things about this ad. For starters, the categories he is interested in are not just racial: Italian has been added, which is by American racial standards an ethnic subgroup of "white" (though Italian may have long ago not been included under the umbrella of "white," today Italian people can identify as such). This is interesting because the stereotypes he's looking for become very clear. He wants an uber-masculine male - and for him, this can only be found in gay latin, italian, and black men. The exclusivity is also more urgent - he puts in his ad "BLACK/LATIN/ITALIAN GUY (ONLY!)" in all caps and with an exlamation marks to fend off those who might try to cross racial boundaries.

II. Masc. Bi Top Looking 4 A Cute Asian Boy - 41
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I'm a horny masc. bi blond in SF looking 4 a cute, smooth, eager asian bottom boy 2 play with. I'm very str8 acting but love hot asian boys that know how 2 take care of a big hard cock. I'm 5'11" hairy chest 210# thick 7" cut cock with a big mushroom head. I shoot big. I want 2 get sucked till I'm rock hard than work your ass long and hard. Do you want 2 be my boy? Than drop me a line with your pic/stats.

Comments on II: There is so much of this here in San Francisco. The racial tension between GWM and GAM is extremely visible and problematic here. In this ad the expectations are made perfectly clear: Asian men are expected to be bottoms that are built to serve white men's cocks. Asian-American men face a particularly heinous version of skin fetishization and humiliation. I was at a bar in the Castro once with a Filipino man when some random guy, in a failed attempt to pick him up, referred to him as "Yuengling."

This is possibly the most accepted form of online and real-world racism. Gwen Stefani sings at the end of her latest album about ending racism but also sings about Japanese women as if they were dolls for her to play with. She sings: "I'd dress them wicked / I'd give them names / Love, Angel, Music, Baby." The irony in the last track of her album in which she and Andre 3000 sing that "we've got a long way to go" to end racism isn't apparent to most listeners. Racism Gwen Stefani-style is only Black and White. The humiliation of Asian men and women as subserviant playthings is rarely looked upon suspiciously.

III.New to -------- - any GBM Tops hosting?
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New to ---------. Live near --------. How about we make our own "sideshow" at your place tonight. Only hang with well hung GBM top. Very discreet here. Like 8+ with big balls. If you got that then - then stuff that big black stick all the way down my throat. No gag reflex here. got some killer 420. Dig smokin out and fackin all night. Hit me back with a pic of your meat and let's get this party started!

Comments on III: This is particularly tricky to tease apart. When most people of think sexual racist practices between white men and black people, they might first think of the sexual domination of black women by white men (especially under slavery). The poster of this ad isn't interested in a black bottom, but a black top. The sexual positions might be different here - but ultimately the outcome is the same.

In this ad, the white man is seeking a sexually aggressive black man to fuck him. This is almost always how black men are depicted in sexual situations. They aren't depicted as caring, devoted lovers - but as deviant sexual beings that seek to fuck anything that moves. Ads like these are generally the only time online chatters single out black men for conversation or sexual interaction - they want hung black men that know how to fuck.

This certainly takes a psychological toll on black men. All you have to do is imagine what it means to be black while chatting online with other gay men. Whereas a white user may be IM'd (IM'd = sent a private message by another user) by users of all races, ages, and body types - black users are IM'd only 25% as much as white users (according to research by a fellow MA candidate, Will) and when they are IM'd by a white gay man it's most often because the white man assumes they are hung and want to fuck them.

Final Thoughts: These kinds of interactions are not limited to the internet - certainly the same assumptions get made in face-to-face encounters and have similar repercussions. However, chatting online provides a unique form of racism that make racist patterns much more readily apparent(white gay men don't walk around often with shirts reading "other GWM only"). Also, whereas a person may talk with 5 or 6 people at a bar, they may instant message 40 people in a given evening. That can mean being rejected by 30 men as opposed to 3 or 4. Also, at a bar it takes a lot of gumption to refuse to speak with someone who approaches you. Online, it only takes a click of a button.

All of this certainly amounts to a damning indictment for gay white men who use the internet to talk to others. Often gay men defend this kind of racial specificity with comments like "nothing personal or poltiical, just a preference" - but comments like that are far from innocent. They fail to analyze where preferences like these come from. Attraction and desire are just as susceptible to societal norms and biases as other human emotions can be. After all, let's remember that Marilyn Monroe, the sexy vixen of just a few decades ago, would now be a plus-sized model at best.

Racism bleeds into attraction, too. And it's not alone - conceptions of class and masculinity get tied up with racial issues. We saw that one ad was interested in Latin / Black / Italian men because it was, for him, a sign of masculinity. Moreover, it's probable that many of the GWM for GWM ads are not just about race, but also about class and sexual health. In some white people's eyes, all people of color are poor, unclean, and sexually reckless. Media depictions of people of color, especially black men, do little to refute these stereotypes. "Cops", anyone?